REFEREE MINDSET ONLINE COURSE
Welcome to week 1! This week you are going to set your well-formed goals and prepare a plan on how to reach it.
I’m so excited to present the first week of this online course to you. I will do my best to help you know yourself better and enjoy your ride being a better referee. Please read this text first, then watch the video, and the most important thing is always to do the exercises. This is the most important thing you can do for your success.
Setting the right goals is extremely important for you, so we start the course with it. If you only do this first week, you make a giant step forward, but there is a lot more to it during the following weeks.
If you don’t have a goal, you are like a car driver who doesn’t know where he is going. Do you think he will be able to get there? Wouldn’t bet much on it.
If you have a cloudy goal, it’s merely a wish that cannot be backed by a concrete plan, therefore, chances are poor that you make them true.
If you have a well-formed, written goal, you are definitely on the top 3% of all of the officials around the globe!
And you can take my word granted that if you have a well-formed goal with the proper plan along with persistence and flexibility, time is the only space between you and your goal!
This week you will learn how to set goals in the right way, and how to boost your motivation for the momentum along the way!
I have my own goals, and I have them written. The first time I did the exercise you are about to learn, I couldn’t believe how powerful it was setting my mind on target. You will see how it pushes you much closer to your goal. You will feel your goal more realistic and much easier to achieve.
But the best is the fact that it gives you a detailed plan. You will have small chuncks of easily reachable goals that will lead you to be a top referee.
And it’s not only about your officiating career!
You need to see your life as a complete unit. Everything is connected to everything. I’ll shed a light with a perfect example for referees.
Each top referees I’ve had the luck talking to said that one of the biggest challenges for them is keeping balance between officiating and private life. It shouldn’t be a surprise, since we travel around a hundred times more that the normal… without spouses and kids. And this is a huge challenge that has to be taken care of.
So, at the end of this week you should have a plan for reaching your goals around the main areas in your life.
- Social connections
- Entertainment, adventures
A lot of people consider being a referee a separate goal, but in my opinion it should be part of these groups of goals to be more effective. If it is aligned with the major areas in your life, it can contribute more to each of them, and serve as great fulfillment and acknowledgement that everybody seeks in every activity.
This course is not for everybody. Some of the people will find these tasks long and difficult to complete, but if you make an effort to do everything in this course, you will be the best referees you can be!
So, are you ready for the trip?
Let’s get started!
1. State your desired outcome
In positive terms. It’s not about what you don’t want. Formulate your sentences in a positive way: what you DO want!
Use ‘I’ sentences, present tense, and set a deadline at the end of each sentence.
At this stage, feel free to be idealistic. Make it big, compelling,
A good example is: “I officiate first league games in my country in 2017.” – This is your DESIRED OUTCOME.
Set a timer to 2 minutes and write down the 10 most important desired outcomes in your life right now. This way, your subconscious mind works and you can be sure that these are the most important desired outcomes in your life.
In another less than 30 seconds, choose the three most important desired outcomes form the list you’ve just made.
These are the desired outcomes. The end of the journey. They are there to motivate you! We will drill down into details to find out what your goals really are.
Your goals are the key to reach your desired outcome, so read on.
2. Get specific
In sensory based language. Describe your desired outcome as if you wanted to have it manufactured. The more details you have, the better off you are.
You want to jump into the time when you have already reached your desired outcome. Close your eyes and describe what you see, what you hear, what you smell or taste and what you feel.
What do you see? Put together every detail in your picture. Make it colorful, vivid, and see it with your own eyes. See yourself from an outside perspective, then make it associated; jump into your own body.
What do you hear? Listen to it. What sounds do you hear?
What do you smell or taste? What do you feel? Where do you feel it in your body?
Take your time here. Imagine you achieving your desired outcome as detailed as possible. Have your phone ready to record every word you say, and say your sensory based specification on your desired outcome. Recording it makes it easier to jump back in the situation later.
This already puts your mind in a state that your subconscious believes that it’s really possible.
3. Set deadlines
Time pressure is a good way if used well, so you need deadlines. If you have a huge outcome, set milestones with closer deadlines (ie. yearly). Your subconscious drives you to achieve them until the deadline.
If you cannot meet your deadline, simply set a new one. There are no unreasonable goals, only over-ambitious deadlines.
4. Quality check
Is it aligned with every aspect of your life? Is your family happy with you achieving your desired outcome? “They are happy because they love me” is not a good answer. Take your time and step into the boots of your family members. See yourself with their eyes and check their feelings. What do the think about you? Are they happy?
Also, ask your parts if they are ok with your desired outcome. Do you have enough time for the ones you care the most? Do you get the adventure you want from life? Are you healthy? Do you have enough money?
If you feel the slightest disturbance in the Force, please take the time now to correct your desired outcome in a way that it fits with you and every other aspect of your life.
5. Deal with obstacles
“The only thing standing between you and your goal is the bullshit story you keep telling yourself as to why you can’t achieve it.” – Jordan Belfort
Why aren’t you already at your desired outcome? 80% of the constraints are inside you, so start with yourself. Another reason is that you only control what’s inside you.
So, what are holding you back from achieving your dreams? Are these skills, quality, or some knowledge?
Write them down.
When you are done, think about what you can do with those obstacles. Sometimes you can go through them (by learning a new skill for example), but sometimes aligning your desired outcome is a better idea.
If you think there is a limiting belief in place, we will deal with it later.
Whatever your decision is, make note.
6. Find motivation
Ask the question: WHY do you want to achieve it? Have a clear and compelling answer to this question.
Then ask again. Drill down until you have an absolutely compelling and satisfying answer.
For example you may answer the first WHY like this: “because I want to be closer to basketball.”
Then ask: “Why do I want to be closer to basketball?”
“Because I love this game!”
“Why do I love this game?”
… and so on.
Make up a sentence that in case you tell somebody they cannot do anything but say; “ok, I understand. Fair enough!” or even better “wow, that’s great!!!”
If you can, change your outcome to make it more compelling to you.
Close your eyes again and see yourself dissociated (outside of your own body) in the future when achieving your desired outcome and set up the scene for the most compelling scenario.
The BIG WHY is an essential contribution for the motivation you need along the way. You can write it in a big paper and hang it on your wall to see it every day when you wake up. Be creative, color and joyful.
7. Identify the skills, knowledge and information you need
Jump into the future. See what you will see, hear what you will hear, and feel what you will feel when you reach your desired outcome. Be there with your eyes closed, then look back on the road.
Find the most important skills that you had to develop in order to get there. What knowledge did you need in order to overcome all of your obstacles?
Identify the one skill that if you develop, will have the greatest impact on your outcome. A small hint: maybe your weakest skill defines how far you get, so you will have the biggest impact by improving your weakest skill. This is only a hint, the impact is the key!
8. Make a to-do list
Ask yourself as you look back on the road. “What exactly did I have to DO in order to be successful?”
List everything you had to do in order to reach your desired outcome.
List all the resources you need in order to reach your desired outcome.
Translate the list from the previous point into to-do items.
9. Find mentors
Make a list of everyone you can work with on achieving your desired outcome. Do you know anyone who achieved your desired outcome? Or was really close to it?
List the people you trust or already proved to be a mentor for you. Ask them questions to get good answers.
There is a real shortcut here. Use it!
10. Organize your list to a plan
You make a plan out of your list. You arrange them by sequence and priority.
Sequence – What do you have to do before everything else, and in what order?
Priority – What is more important and less important?
Planning is very important, and here you want to remember the 80/20 rule that says 20% of your activity contributes to 80% of your results. Concentrate on the most important stuff.
11. Select your Most Important Task
Ask yourself: “If I could do only one task from my tasklist, which one is the most important?” Put a number ‘1’ besides this activity.
Ask yourself: “If I could do only one more task from my tasklist, which one is the most important?” Put number ‘2’ besides this task.
Keep asking until you have 7 top tasks organized by sequence and priority.
Now ask yourself: “If I could do only one thing all day long, which one activity would contribute the most value to my goals?”
In reality, your goal will be to execute your most important tasks. This is self-controlled goal that makes the whole process valuable for you.
12. Plan repeatedly
Repeatedly! People often fail with their goals simply because they cannot adjust. They are not flexible enough to align with their achievement. If something goes other than planned, they give up.
Sometimes you get lost in a big city, but if you have a gps with you, you simply recalculate the road and go on. You don’t stop and jump out of the car cursing.
So, make a plan
- every day for the next day
- every friday for the next week
- every month in advance
- every year in advance
If you constantly reformulate your plan, you will not be able to miss the target, and it’s only a matter of time to reach your desired outcome.
Start with the big picture and go backwards. What milestones do you have to go through until you reach your goal?
Ask yourself: “Will I enjoy this trip?” This is high time of being absolutely honest with yourself. It doesn’t mean that you won’t struggle, and believe me, there is no golden pavement to any place worth going.
But you should enjoy the way, so make it more enjoyable for yourself right here when you plan.
13. State your goals
Grab a clean sheet of paper and write down your MITs. These will be your goals.
Make them visible for you all the time.
Stick it on the mirror, or your wall to see every time you wake up. Write your final goal next to it in order to make it more compelling for you.
Concentrate on this most important task, and…
14. Develop a habit of self-discipline
Developing habits are easy if done the right way. Gradualism and flexibility are the key.
Set a habit of doing the one most important task each day before everything else. Before reading emails, before switching on tv, before going to facebook.
Concentrate 100% of this task each day before doing everything else. Start doing it for only 5 minutes each day. Then increase gradually until you develop the habit.
If you miss one day, that’s fine. Don’t ever blame yourself, only encourage and promise that the next day you will do it. Only for 5 minutes.
And keep that promise!
15. Review your goals constantly
If you don’t do what you have promised, align your promise. Many people fail at reaching their goals because they make too ambitious promises they cannot keep. When they don’t stick to it, they lose momentum and they give up.
Set something you can keep. This way your self esteem goes up and you put yourself in a virtuous circle.
If you do it, you increase your chance of success 10 times!
Talk about your goals! Share it with your friends and ask for support. Be careful here! Share your goals only with the ones you trust they will only encourage you! Forget those who laugh at you, doubt you, or just try to push you down.
There is a nice quote from the movie “The Pursuit of Happyness”:
“Don’t ever let somebody tell you… you can’t do something. Not even me. All right? … You got a dream… You gotta protect it. People can’t do somethin’ themselves, they wanna tell you you can’t do it. If you want somethin’, go get it. Period.”
The video for this week
- Read this week’s material
- Watch the video – it’s more detailed and with additional information
- Set aside at least 2 hours distraction-free time some time this week
- Get some clean sheets of paper
- Create your most important goals as a referee and in other areas of your life using the steps above
- Send me your goals (if you want) to peter at REMOVETHIS refereemindset dot com – I never judge, only help to make it even better
- Communicate with your spouse and friends that you will do goal setting – but only the ones who encourage you. Don’t ever communicate your goals with people who will laugh at you, or discourage you in any way!